Honest

For some days now I’ve been pondering how the world would be if people actually said what was on their mind even if that thing could hurt another person. But I realized that this will not happen, the urge to not say anything that could make a person sad or hurt is so ingrained in our brains. From we are tiny things just starting to talk our parents always say that if we don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything. Even when it is the truth because that’s not nice or acceptable. It’s been this way for so long that I don’t think anyone have the ability to even be completely 100% honest. And even if that person exists nobody would like him/her because nobody really want the truth if it’s about them self’s. Nobody likes being hurt or called out on our bull crap.

But it would be nice for at least 50% honesty from those around me.

Uh, fond a new song that is on repeat right now. The Lost Boy – from Sons of Anarchy by Greg Holden
 

Why is it that sometime you get so fanatic about a thing that nothing else matters you forget sleep and food? I’m not kidding when I say that if not for the fact that I always need to pee when I smoke I would probably forget that too.

My mom told me not long ago that I use mental terror on her, what actually made me baffled about this was the fact that I had been honest with her about myself and what’s going on in my head. What I learned by that was to keep my mouth shut for a few years still. She still don’t understand what’s really going on.

everyone around me always tell me I’m too paranoid about my technology, like I have 4 passwords to get into my phone and the just to get Facebook or mail up and going. But just a day ago someone in Taiwan tried to log on my Facebook. So am I too paranoid? I don’t think so. No one have complete control over their presence on the internet.

My therapist has said every time I’ve been there that I really need to get my own place. But who would let me rent from them? I don’t have a job. I wouldn’t let me rent from me so why would anyone else?